Monday, May 16, 2011

Ordinary World

Ifs....
I sit in school for seven hours a day. Then go home and go to work for another 3-7 hours. when i am not in school or at work i watch tv and stalk on facebook and text. I am 18 waiting to move out of my house. Waiting for something to change. Waiting for my life to being. Just waiting, wanting. But what if that all changed?  What if i got married at this age? If my mom finally understood me. If i got off my lazy butt and did homework. If i could be happy for more than a few moments at a time. If i got more than 1 A.If i had confidence in myself. When i graduate.If i stopped pleasing peole. If i turned into a vampire :P If I finally stood up to everyone i have something to say to. If someone close to me died. If my best friend kissed me..... Never mind that is to weird. IF the internal conflict would stop. If my novel got published. If i lost my legs. If I bleed till i almost died. If i never talked again...
But then agian these are all ifs....
Ifs that will probably never come to pass. I sit and dont take actions
One day I decied to take the action of doing something about my life and change it. I stood up for myself. Stopped being a people pleaser. I tell off my boss and my friend. Tell them everything on my mind.

How did the boss react?
How did the friend react?
Who will I stand up to next?

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