Jealousy

P.S.
By: Jewel
 I wrote those nice
poems only becasue
the honest ones
would frighten you

I wish I could wrote only four lines and have so much come out of it. I am jealous that she just says it how it is! I have to beat around the bush. She writes truth and it is amazing how inspiring it is! I write nice poems for people cuz i dont wanna depress them with the truth. This is just so inpiring and i wish i could be just as good as a writer. In fact i am jealous of all her poems. She is an excellent writer! one day i hope to be as good as she is! there isnt really anymore i have to write on this fact.... so yeah

The Crush

She saw him for the first time that summer night. To her he was cute but she let go because she knew she would never see him again. She made a fool of herself not caring what he or others thought because she knew she would never see him again. The rest of that summer came and went and she never saw him once. Then the next journey in her life began. She saw him once or twice. She saw him a lot when he was with the people she knew. And yet she still thought he was cute. Then on her journey came a bump in the road. People left her. Alone. Afraid. Not know what to do she ran up to the first person she thought of. A girl whom she barely knew. She asked that girl one simple question. That day he was there. And she still thought he was cute. Their friendship grew, her emotions let go. They talked more. She now saw him all the time and yet she still thought her was cute. People kept telling her they were perfect for each other. But he was unsure. So she backed off and was his friend. Now, it has been years. They are still friends and yet, she still thinks he is cute. They play, they laugh, they sing. There are inseparable. Two words defy them form everyone else. People still tell them they are perfect for each other, she shrugs it off and pretends to be disgusted. She hides it all, bottles it inside. So much that sometimes she gets sick. She wants to tell him how she feels, but those two words hold her back. It could all be ruined. All they worked up to be. The trust. The very thing they are. It is hard for her to hide it all, but she pulls it off. She doesn’t know how, but she does. The mask she hides behind when she is with him is thick. What does she say? She will remain; nothing. She is by his side every step of the way. She will never leave him. He runs to her in the hall for hugs. He says he has no feelings, but she is not so sure. She won’t tell him till the time is right, now is not that time. Those two words will always reamin. She will always have him and he will always have her. They don’t wanna lose one another. One day, it might happen, but for now she will hide behind that mask, waiting for the time. Yet, she still and always will think he is cute
Authors Note:
This my friends is the first poem i ever wrote! it is about a friend and stuff she went through. cool huh haha :P but i hope you enjoy! tell me what you think!

GOSH DARN IT!!!! I HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY!!!

I am tired! I am so freaking tired I am ready to punch a wall.... and I have to write i freaking thing about complaints! Gosh!!! ok well here is all the things i am tired of.

I am tired of my sister making me mad on purpose
I am tired of getting in trouble for stuff i didn't do
I am tired of my mom being stressed out at me over nothing
I am tired of  school
I am tired of AP psych
Heck i am so tired of that class i fall asleep in it everytime!
I am tired of stupid teachers who think they can demean our intellegence and treat us like 3rd graders
I am tired of my friends making me solve there problems for them
I am tired of my boss
I am DONE with work
I am tired of my home
I am tired of disapointing people
I am tired of getting 0-4 hours of sleep every night
I am tired of being upset
I am tired of crying myself to sleep
I am tired of them not noticing
I am tired of coughing
I am tired of them worrying about me i am fine so they dont need to
I am tired of being nagged
I am tired of not spending time with my special someone
I am tired of failing
I am tired of my friends ditching me
I am tired of falling and no one is there to catch me or help me back up
I am tired of hurting so much
I am just tired.....
SO DONT BUG ME!!!!!

My Book I am writing!

ok so I am writing a book. And it is coming along ok. I have the beginning done and the end is almost done and I have bits and pieces of the middle.
So a quick summary of the book is.
There is a girl named Erika and she is a dancer. Her mom died of cancer when she was little and her dad is in the army. So they move alot. And she hates it. She has two older brothers who are twins (AJ and CJ) She hates them too. She basically hates life. She contunies dancing only becasue it was her mothers dream so she feels as if she has to continue to the dream. So it is her sr year of highschool and they just moved to Conneticut. She is not happy. She goes through a bunch of crap and then meets a friend Lucy. They get in a car accident. Lucy dies and Erika lives. Erika suffers now from a broken pelivis, a broken leg, and damage all over her body. She can't dance again. She is devistated. And it is basically about how she goes throughout life.
So I had a movie magic moment about two months ago. It was a saturday and I was not being a happy camper, becasue my friends who I would make plans with kept ditching me. I was not happy at all becasue this would happene with everyone. So yeah I walked outside and looked up at the sky and the second I looked up at the sky it started to snow. I swear I almost cried. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen ever!!! so i decieded to put something like that in my book so I did. As the end. It is not finished but I am going to put what I have :] hope you enjoy!

Note: This is still a first draft. Therefore I do not put anything in paragraphs. If you dont like it live with it. And it is also not all the way done so if it cuts off sorry! also first draft it is going to be messy and might not make sense in places.

I was in bed all day. I hadn't been to school since the last time I had that talk with Nick. Two weeks. I just couldn't handle school or people anymore. It was to much for me. The stares I got from people. I just couldn't do it. So I went back to sitting in a bed all day. Today was a bit different though. CJ and AJ were being super nice. They got home from school and came and carried me downstiars. They put me in my wheel chair and wheeled me outside. When we got out there I looked up and started crying. The sky was covered in grey clouds and snow was falling. It was the most beautiful thing I had seen in a long time. I had never seen snow like this. It was amazing. A flake hit my cheek and it felt like a little baby kiss that melted on my face. "Thank you." I said out of my teary sound. My brothers have never done something like this for me ever. It amazed me! "Your welcome Erika we thought you would like it." AJ said in a tone that was not his normal joking tone. HE said it very sincerly. I turned around to see my brothers faces. They were crying. I had never once felt colser to my brothers that I did now. We were all staring up at the sky now. It was silent, as the happy tears fell down our faces. I usually perferd rain but today I perferd snow. "Erika if you ever need anything you can always come to us. I know we haven't been the nicest to you in the past, but we were thinking about it and if you would have died in that accident we wouldn't know what to do. We love you." When CJ said this he was bawling. I looked up at him. "CJ I know thank you. YOu guys are the greatest people I know. I was always worried about not having friends and being alone. But I should have never worried about that, becasue I should have known I always have you two." The tears were freezing to my cheeks, like ice cicles. But I didn't care to much, I had the two best people right by me sharrig this special moment with me. Right now I didn't care about Nick or any of the kids at school. All I cared for was this moment, this moment in my life. This was the perfect way to end an emotional day.

That is all I am going to share with you right now! I do have more and if you guys like it then I will post more! plz plz pzl let me know what you think!!! this is the ending and i have really high hopes of getting this published!!! and if you have ideas for titles for this let me know too!!! thanks!!!

Love Is....

Love is putting your arm around me
Love is wearing your jacket
Love is hugging you on my front step
Love is Undefinable
Love is when you look me in the eyes
Love is kissing you in the school parking lot
Love is having late night texting conversations
Love is having a two person thought train
Love is writing with the best pen ever
Love is dancing ever so close to you
Love is talking for six hours and feeling like only one has past
Love is happiness
Love is singing at the top of you lungs while driving down an empty highway
Love is skipping school
Love is taking long drvies
Love is taking long walks in the rain
Love is you holding me
Love is my head on your shoulder
Love is letting your emotions fly free
Love is caring so much about one single thing
Love is trying on the perfect shirt
Love is crying yourself to sleep
Love is having someone think about you
Love is holding a new born
Love is coloring in a coloring book
Love is when your necklace clamp is in the front
Love is making a wish at 11:11
Love is holding your hand
Love is keeping each other warm
Love is violently shivering for two hours
Love is catching them when they fall
Love is a song playing in an empty room
Love is floating away
Love is waking up late
Love is unconditional
Love is forgetting you lines
Love is listening with nothing to say
Love is rain pouring down
Love is pounding out all your emotions on the piano after a really bad day
Love is Love
Love is thinking of you
Love is smelling you smell
Love is wearing your favorite pair of shoes
Love is acting childish
Love is talking to yourself
Love is failing a test
Love is having a migrain
Love is listening to songs that remind me of you
Love is hurting so much
Love is writing till your fingers bleed
Love is crying till your eyes burn
Love is saying 'I love you'
Love is being so sick you can't stand
Love is something you can't explain
Love is weird
BUT I LOVE IT!!!!

Authors Note: So there it is from a person who used to hate love too... hope you enjoy! tell me waht you think :)

Finding My Neverland

People always ask me when will you grow up
I don't know how to answer so I just walk away
Everyday I get funny looks becasue of my childish acts
I look at those people and break inside
A kind of breaking where my systems shut down
It is a heart breaking feeling
Then I start thinking, wondering about if I really do need to grow up
Change me and be someone different
I breakdown and cry sometimes
Then I realize I have the key to the door
The door to my Neverland
Neverland a place where no one has to grow up
A place where you can always be yourself
A place where you can have no worries
It is not anyone elses Neverland it is mine
I know I can always be happy there
I can sing dance and play with no worries
Everyone is friends, no one makes fun of one another
It is a place that is under lock and key in the back of my mind
There so no one outside can enter in
It is my place
My Neverland
A place where all life is beautiful
Everyone lives to the fullest of their potential
Everyone is here not to grow up
To have the childhood they have always wanted
Everyone is happy
There is no emptyness at all
No overpowering feeling but happiness
Everywhere you go in Neverland you have a friend
NO one has to worry here
No anxiety
No depression
No emptyness
No fear
No heartbreak
Nothing but happiness and love in my Neverland
I don't have to grow up ever
I am perfect the way I am
Always young at heart
but sooner or later I have to walk out the door
The door in my mind and lock it up
I don't want anyone to enter in and destroy it all
So I walk out and go out in the real world once more
And take the critisim
The hate
The looks
Bottle it all up inside me until my cup is full
When that time comes and I am sad once more
I go unlock the door to my Neverland again
And enter into a place like none other
The place I wanna stay forever
It breaks my heart that I can't
An escaping place in my mind
It is mine forever
My own little place
For no one else but me
MY NEVERLAND!

Authors Note:
 I got the idea to write this fter i watch finding neverland with my friend. This poem is based off of life experiences. It came from my heart. It came from my feelings. I really believe that everyone has their own Neverland. So i dedicate this poem to everyone who feels alone and lost, who doesn;t know where to turn. It took me months to write this. It was hard to write. to get the wording right. I had alot of writers block. I wasn't sure if I wanted to let my ture feelings out to the world. So here it is for people to read! HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!